just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
