great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My ATM looks so different sober.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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