the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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