Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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