windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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