The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
