Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
