turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Damn victory sex feels great
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
