I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
