I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
