the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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