Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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