How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
