Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
