She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
