We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
