you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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