So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
either way he was missing a nipple.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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