shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
