Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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