shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Help. Why am I so naked?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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