nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Fuck appropriateness.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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