i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
