The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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