Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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