2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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