You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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