Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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