Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize