Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
