i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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