no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
