How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
