i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize