Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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