you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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