"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
