I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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