Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dear god my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize