I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
