The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize