I wish I only lived at night.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
