Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
