I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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