This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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