ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize