U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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