im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
