ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
