Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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