dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
