he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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