I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
