He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
