I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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