We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
