OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
