my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize