Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
