don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
