I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
