She's JV to your varsity
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
