I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
