I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
