So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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