Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Randomize
