i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
