dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize