He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
