is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
