When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
try to milk me bitch
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
