i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
