You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
